i was not made for hookup culture. love me for an eternity or do not touch me at all
[ID: a digital two-panel drawing of Danny and Alex from the show London Spy. In the first panel, the two are drawn from the side, glancing at a pink-hued sea and smiling. The second panel shows the two from behind, sitting and talking, against a more grey-hued sea. Text placed on the two panels reads: I wish I could have told him. That none of it mattered, the lies, the mistakes. That I loved him just the same. That I love him still, now, knowing it all. end ID]
April Fools day here is always funny because my dash is full of “here’s a Rick roll but it’s actually a different song” “here’s ‘do you love the color of the sky’ just kidding! It’s not the full long post!” “Here’s a drawing I made of a kitty! Just kidding! It’s two kitties and they’re best friends” and we do this unironically and completely ignoring the blood lust we all experience every year just two weeks prior
Maybe we need to go through the ides of March to get the violence out of our systems so that April 1st doesn’t end with the website in literal flames.
butch fatale
She walked into my office with the swagger of a racecar pit crew boss. From her steel toed boots to her safety glasses, this dame was giving me forklift certified vibes strong enough to shake me loose from my classic depression laced with alcoholism.
her carabiner jingled with keys to four speakeasies, two u-hauls, and a thousand broken hearts.
sometimes i’ll be scrolling on here and almost reblog what a mutual reblogged from me like so true bestie
Listen. Ken does not say “cause we’re boyfriend and girlfriend”. Ken says “cause we’re boyfriend girlfriend” like an eight year girl who is so excited about this development in her story that she is skipping over words.
Guy who hears about any career and says “oh like Barbie”
they need to invent a food that i do not have to do any work to prepare and also is cheap and also is nutritious and also tastes good and also that doesn’t hurt my tummy
never enough time in the day to do fuck all
there’s always time in the night to do fuck all
but watch out
I truly hate the word “unalive.” There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.
not now kitten daddy’s doing critical damage to his spotify wrapped
Anonymous said:
You know, as the concept of “zombifying fungi” becomes more and more popular, I notice it still referred to everywhere as like a “brain parasite.” So I guess a lot of people overlooked or forgot how in 2019 it was discovered that cordyceps and other similar fungal parasites leave the brain and nervous system completely untouched. They only control the muscles. They use chemical signals to make the muscles flex in real time where they want to go :)
sorry didn’t mean to moan like that when you stabbed me